WHY ARE WE SO NEGATIVE TOWARDS CHANGE?

Changing is part of your evolution through life, you are a book with many chapters and some might say you life could be categorised down into mini novels in a book series. All with the same running theme, you. However, there are twists and turns, challenges to overcome and changes have to be made. After all, your books would become boring otherwise. 

How boring would it be if you just stayed the same? 

I mean we have all looked back at old photos, our orange foundation, over plucked eyebrows and questionable fashion choices and thought ‘oh god I’m so glad I don’t do that anymore’ and why is that? Because you have changed! And aren’t you grateful for that?

Creatively it is really difficult when you get stuck in a niche, a style of art or photography which you feel you can’t break free from incase you ruin the ‘ascetic’ you have created. I struggle with this all the time. For some reason I want people to scroll through my youtube and instagram and have all the images from the last 3 years in the same colour palette and editing style. But really no ones life is just one constant colour. The seasons change and new inspiration comes and goes and I personally need to just go with the flow and change things up. Easier said that done, but for some reason change just seems like a huge negative thing that I am scared of. 

Why do we give such a negative connotation to change? 

‘Oh she changed’ , ‘Yeah when they got that job they changed’ , ‘He changed after we went on holiday together’ , ‘I don’t follow her on instagram anymore she changed’ 

Maybe people have just adapted? Saw things differently and following that changed their actions and plans. Most of the time this is not a reflection on you personally but shows more about how the other person has grown or has a change in interest. Okay, there are exceptions to this, for example if someone came into money and start behaving nasty and out of character. When people are going through a tough time and start taking it out on others. But again if you look a bit deeper most of the time that has nothing to do with ourselves, so why are we so hung up about people who have changed and moved on. 

We all love things to stay the same, be in a nice routine and see the same content from people day in day out. But the truth of the matter is social media is changing every day. A tweet can go viral one day and be forgotten the next. Job roles change, the way we work changes and these changes are happening a lot faster now. We need to embrace change, evolve and adapt in a positive way and be proud of our colleagues, inspirations and friends who do the same. The strongest ones are those who adapt. 

Why changing doesn’t mean you have failed. 

Okay so heres a really simple example, you decided to go vegetarian, you did this because lots of your friends had done it and at the time you were interested in the ethical reasons behind the change. You did it for a few months then realised you missed some of your favourite meals, you didn’t enjoy cooking anymore, you had less energy and the vegetarian diet wasn’t suiting you. So what do you do, you change and go back to eating meat, and for some reason you feel guilty but why is that? 

We have a horrible thing where sometimes we secretly want people we are envious of, to fail. Because we have that mindset we assume that when we change or stop doing something we judge ourselves the same way we do others. We pick fault and we say to ourselves we have failed. This really is not the case. I’ts okay to stop plans if they are not benefiting you. If you owned a clothes shop, ended up in heaps of debt and about to lose your home, you would change, get a new job and close the shop down. It's the natural and instinctive thing to do and we should not be ashamed to change. It's better to take a step back from a situation and then adapt the way you are reacting to the situation and make a change. 

 

Think of it this way, if your best friend had to quit a college course because they became really unhappy, you would support them. You would help them to research new skills, find a new job and overall just be supportive and positive. Be your own best friend and have your own back.

I have been dealing with the war with change recently. I have moved house, had to adapt to doing lots of chores, paying bills. Meaning I have less money and time to do things I used to really enjoy. Now I have (sort of) come to terms with this change, adapted to a more balanced way of living and ready for my next chapter.

How do you deal with change? What was the biggest change that happened in your life and how did that bring positives into your life?

Thanks for reading x

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